Thursday, October 15, 2009

Sa Aking Iniibig (To My Beloved)

Was going through my desk drawer earlier, and found old journals from when I was younger. Goodness! A lot of interesting stuff in them! Pages were dripping with insatiable, sexual, angry,and confused feelings. A lot were written in metaphors and poetry, and much of what they pertained to I've already forgotten.

It's amusing and hilarious, I found a Filipino poem I wrote for a freshman college assignment! I admit that it is awkward and pretentious (even using the pseudonym, "Eros"!), as I struggled with the language and its novelty. I wrote the poem in English first and brashly translated it word-for-word. I remember my left hand aching from the weight of the thick English-Tagalog Dictionary. I remember working till the wee hours of the morning. I remember that my brain nearly exploded.

The title is not mine as we were told to re-interpret some famous poet's work. If I recall correctly, the original poem was a paean to a loved one. Still raw from all my adolescent angst, I took it upon me to distort its veneration with a dose of unrequited love, bitterness, and sexuality. Masturbatus frustratus, if you will.

______________________________

Sa Aking Iniibig

Ngayong gabi,
Sa aking malawak at malumbay na kama,
Ako'y nakahigang nag-iisa--
malamig at ulila.

Ang aking pagod na mga mata,
Walang humpas na naghahanap
ng 'sang anino, 'sang imaheng bumubuo
ng lunggating tamis ng iyong katawan.

Samakatwid, nadarama ko ang kumot,
Halumigmig sa pinapawisang likod ko.
Ang mga unan, kasing lambot
ng iyong makinis at maka-rosas na dibdib,
tila'y nilunok nila ang aking kabuuan.

O, ako'y nakahiga't nasusunog para sa'yo--
isang bulkang malapit nang sumabog!

Kay labis kong hinahangad muli,
ang gabing lumipad tayo patungong buwan--
tayong dalawa lamang, nag-iisa sa puting kapatagan.
Nakita kaya tayo ni Luna?
Binuhay ba natin muli si Adan at Eba?

Ngayong gabi,
Sa aking malawak at malumbay na kama,
Ako'y hindi na nakahigang nag-iisa--
mabanas at nasisiyahan.

Ang aking mga kasama?
Mga binhi ng aking kasalanan,
kalat na kalat sa aking paligiran.
Kagaya ng imahen mo--
kalat na kalat sa utak ko.


_________________________________

I've lost the English translation. At the present, here's what I could make of what was written.

To My Beloved

Tonight,
on my vast and lonely bed,
I lie alone--
cold and orphaned.

My tired eyes,
restlessly search
for a shadow, for a likeness
of your body's fervent sweetness.

Instead, I feel the sheets
clinging to my sweaty back.
The pillows, as soft
as your smooth and rosy chest,
seem to have swallowed me whole.

Oh, I lay burning for you--
a volcano close to erupting!

For I've longed once more,
for that night we flew to the moon--
only us two,
one in that white wilderness.
Did Luna perhaps see us?
Did we resurrect Adam and Eve?

Tonight,
on my vast and lonely bed,
I no longer lie alone--
torrid and happy.

My company?
The seeds of my sins,
scattered around me.
Just like your image--
dissipated in my head.

10 comments:

Eternal Wanderer... said...

Mahusay, mahusay.
Dalisay sa hangarin,
at busilak sa anyo.
Ngunit hindi ito kinakaya
ng kapangyarihan ko.

Samakatuwid, ako ay hahayo.
Sapagkat dinudugo na ang aking ilong
sa iyong pagtangkang magsulat sa
wikang Filipino.

I bow.

Chenkyu.

hahahahahhaha

Bonbon's Tea Party said...

@ EW: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Tseeh! Dinugo rin ako! Haha!

pkf said...

"...found old journals from when I was younger. Goodness! A lot of interesting stuff in them! Pages were dripping with insatiable, sexual, angry,and confused feelings. A lot were written in metaphors and poetry..."

This could've been present tense and I wouldn't have noticed the difference. Looks the leopard has ALWAYS had the same spots. lol.

Bonbon's Tea Party said...

Of course PKF!! I found more poems. I'll be posting them soon.

Maxwell5587 said...

i prefer the tagalog one over the english one.

it's borderline stimulating yet the passion and romance factor is there.

Bonbon's Tea Party said...

Thanks for reading, Maxwell!

CEZ. said...

for someone who barely knew how to read and write in tagalog back then, that version of the poem was lovely!

Bonbon's Tea Party said...

Thanks Cuzzie!

gentle said...

hehehe. good college poem, actually. i like the tagalog version better.

pleasantly stumbled on your blog.

mind me stalking you from time to time? :)

Bonbon's Tea Party said...

Hey, gentle. Sure thing, stalk away! Hehe. Thanks for.... stumbling. :-)