I felt my strength drain away from me, but I realized that the only way to get rid of her was to continue hitting her with the hard truth. “Alright then… Here’s another: you seem to have a reason or excuse for everything—for things you don’t know, for things you didn’t get to do, for the mistakes you’ve done.”
I look at her and her face just reviled me. She stared at me, her eyes not blinking, her mouth curled into a crooked smile. I was annoyed to the nth degree. I wanted to uproot my computer monitor and bash her on the head! Avoiding her gaze, I roared, “I don’t want to talk to you anymore! Your smug face is pissing me off!!!”
Upset, she defended her mug and claimed that it wasn’t her “poker” face that I saw. I nearly burst out laughing while I stared hard on my computer screen. Lady Gaga’s song began to play in my head and I began imagining myself dancing. The anger must have made me delirious!
Silence.
She took the lull as an opportunity to speak, her voice trembling. “I have a few things to say. For the issues you’ve mentioned, I acknowledge them. I admit na nagkakalat ako ngayon [that I’ve been all over the place lately]. And to you, please don’t keep it all in. If you have something to say, say it.”
Bored with her explanation, tired of her presence, all I could say was a tepid, “Is that all?”
“Dalawa lang nga tayo dito sa office [It’s only just of the two of us left in the office]... Alam mo, sa umaga nga hindi kita mapinta [You know, I can’t tell how you are in the morning], gusto kitang ma-kuwentuhan [I want to tell you stories]…”
Immediately, I cut her off and clarified with a thespian flourish, “On a personal note, I do not see myself being friends with you AT ALL!”
I couldn't help myself. I continued, “I find it so interesting that you majored in Psychology but don’t seem to have the sensitivity to know what needs to be done at work!” Even without meeting her gaze, I could feel her body stiffen. I realized I actually had said something close to cruel. All this time, I was proud that I didn’t resort to cheap tricks (like cussing and name-calling) to put her in place but the Psychology bit seemed too close an insult. Just like battles in the olden days, I was aiming for a pragmatic level-headedness that perhaps could have been equated to honor and chivalry.
I felt her almost whimper. In a choked voice, she managed, “Can I speak now?” I remained silent, staring intently on my computer monitor, my hands heavy on my lap... (to be continued)
Showing posts with label stupid people. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stupid people. Show all posts
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
The Lion Awakens II
When I got back to my desk, I noticed I was still shaking. I continued to seethe from all the anger. I couldn’t help it. I just had to let the fire out lest I explode.
Heaving like a bull, I managed to say over my shoulder, “F****s… I don't appreciate how I end up cleaning your mess!!!” My voice had deepened in its timbre, always a sign that I was dead-serious.
“Usap nga tayo…” [Let’s talk], she said with heightened concern as she rushed to my desk. I could sense her defenses were up. I was angry. The doors had been opened. I couldn’t wait to unleash my lions so that I can put the bitch in her place.
I repeated what I said just in case she was that dumb and she didn’t get what I meant.
“Is it just the client today?”
“No. It’s not just the client today. It’s the way you work and how I constantly put back into order the mess you’ve made.”
“What else am I doing wrong? Tell me.” I hated how forward she became. I hated that she sat right in front of me, shoving her ugly self in my space. She got too close to the remaining shred of patience I held dearly. I imagined uprooting the computer monitor and bashing it on her head.
“What else?! Your issues with communication! You seem to relay incomplete information to the people around you. Case in point, the client today! He wouldn't have come to the office if the stuff you told him on the phone was complete!...Other cases?! The admin assistants in the past. They'd always tell me how you would give them incomplete instructions. And when they’d ask a question, binabara mo sila! [you’d interrupt them!]… You interrupt me!”
“But…”
"Let me finish."
"Leo..."
“You’re doing it again!”
“It’s because…”
“You’re doing it again!” God, how dumb can this bitch be?!
“I do not appreciate that you keep interrupting me when I’m speaking!,” I blurted out, raising my voice even louder to shut her up. I continued, “Even the printers have told our boss that they hate coordinating with you kase ang gulo mo! [because you’re such a mess!]”
I still couldn’t stop shaking. My stomach was beginning to ache. I could feel the bile rise up my esophagus. I wanted to end the heated discussion lest I put to reality the violence running through my head.
“That’s it!” I said. “I don’t want to continue anymore!”
“Why? Keep telling me what I’m doing wrong.”
I had reached my tether. My voice boomed. Facing her, I spat out: “Can’t you see that I can’t talk right now?!! I am angry, my hands are shaking, and I just can’t continue talking to you!!!”
“Why?”
God, how dumb can this bitch be?!, I thought again. Instead, with all the energy I could muster, I controlled myself and answered, “Because I might say something regrettable!”
But she just wouldn’t let go.
“You have to tell me everything else.” Her voice had now shrunk to a squeak...(to be continued)
Heaving like a bull, I managed to say over my shoulder, “F****s… I don't appreciate how I end up cleaning your mess!!!” My voice had deepened in its timbre, always a sign that I was dead-serious.
“Usap nga tayo…” [Let’s talk], she said with heightened concern as she rushed to my desk. I could sense her defenses were up. I was angry. The doors had been opened. I couldn’t wait to unleash my lions so that I can put the bitch in her place.
I repeated what I said just in case she was that dumb and she didn’t get what I meant.
“Is it just the client today?”
“No. It’s not just the client today. It’s the way you work and how I constantly put back into order the mess you’ve made.”
“What else am I doing wrong? Tell me.” I hated how forward she became. I hated that she sat right in front of me, shoving her ugly self in my space. She got too close to the remaining shred of patience I held dearly. I imagined uprooting the computer monitor and bashing it on her head.
“What else?! Your issues with communication! You seem to relay incomplete information to the people around you. Case in point, the client today! He wouldn't have come to the office if the stuff you told him on the phone was complete!...Other cases?! The admin assistants in the past. They'd always tell me how you would give them incomplete instructions. And when they’d ask a question, binabara mo sila! [you’d interrupt them!]… You interrupt me!”
“But…”
"Let me finish."
"Leo..."
“You’re doing it again!”
“It’s because…”
“You’re doing it again!” God, how dumb can this bitch be?!
“I do not appreciate that you keep interrupting me when I’m speaking!,” I blurted out, raising my voice even louder to shut her up. I continued, “Even the printers have told our boss that they hate coordinating with you kase ang gulo mo! [because you’re such a mess!]”
I still couldn’t stop shaking. My stomach was beginning to ache. I could feel the bile rise up my esophagus. I wanted to end the heated discussion lest I put to reality the violence running through my head.
“That’s it!” I said. “I don’t want to continue anymore!”
“Why? Keep telling me what I’m doing wrong.”
I had reached my tether. My voice boomed. Facing her, I spat out: “Can’t you see that I can’t talk right now?!! I am angry, my hands are shaking, and I just can’t continue talking to you!!!”
“Why?”
God, how dumb can this bitch be?!, I thought again. Instead, with all the energy I could muster, I controlled myself and answered, “Because I might say something regrettable!”
But she just wouldn’t let go.
“You have to tell me everything else.” Her voice had now shrunk to a squeak...(to be continued)
Sunday, January 15, 2012
The Lion Awakens
Perhaps I didn’t have enough sleep that day or I was ravenously hungry, but it was that day when the office became a battlefield.
The activities in the office began to pile up that morning. I was focused on multi-tasking, challenging myself to get things done before I went off to lunch. There were emails that needed replying to, phone calls that needed answering, and a bevy of walk-in clients needing attention.
She, for whatever reason, left to do menial errands elsewhere. My superior was still out of the country, off to her yearly holiday abroad, and I was left all alone in the office. The pressure was mounting.
While I was running around our small office, rushing from computer to scanner/printer, answering calls, and running back to clients I was counseling, a tinge of pride kept my chin up. I knew that I held my composure amid everything. But slowly, as the hours passed I grew tired. It dawned on me that the bulk of the morning’s tasks were not all mine. I realized, yet again, I was tying the loose ends of my co-worker’s disarray. I became a ticking bomb while I simmered in another unfair situation.
Still, the tasks had to be accomplished. I had to carry on.
In the center of the whirlwind, she calmly walked in with that wide-eyed, dumb look that always left me looking away in irritation. Amid the calm of my voice as I spoke to the student, I began seeing red. I wanted to rush at her and beat her senseless to the ground. How can she be so still? How can she ignore the fact that the client I was still talking to was the same one she spoke with in the morning? How could she not be aware that the reason for the client’s visit was because the information she ineptly shared on the phone was incomplete? I couldn’t wait to finish the session and leave the office.
As soon as the clients had left, I rushed out of the office without a word.
Outside, I called my sister. I must have looked like a mad man, yelling invectives in the middle of the street, my cigarette burning furiously. She helped me calm down, her gentle hormones from pregnancy traveled through the telephone line. I was glad I had spoken to her. I was glad that I let it all out. I was glad that it was over. So I thought... (to be continued)
The activities in the office began to pile up that morning. I was focused on multi-tasking, challenging myself to get things done before I went off to lunch. There were emails that needed replying to, phone calls that needed answering, and a bevy of walk-in clients needing attention.
She, for whatever reason, left to do menial errands elsewhere. My superior was still out of the country, off to her yearly holiday abroad, and I was left all alone in the office. The pressure was mounting.
While I was running around our small office, rushing from computer to scanner/printer, answering calls, and running back to clients I was counseling, a tinge of pride kept my chin up. I knew that I held my composure amid everything. But slowly, as the hours passed I grew tired. It dawned on me that the bulk of the morning’s tasks were not all mine. I realized, yet again, I was tying the loose ends of my co-worker’s disarray. I became a ticking bomb while I simmered in another unfair situation.
Still, the tasks had to be accomplished. I had to carry on.
In the center of the whirlwind, she calmly walked in with that wide-eyed, dumb look that always left me looking away in irritation. Amid the calm of my voice as I spoke to the student, I began seeing red. I wanted to rush at her and beat her senseless to the ground. How can she be so still? How can she ignore the fact that the client I was still talking to was the same one she spoke with in the morning? How could she not be aware that the reason for the client’s visit was because the information she ineptly shared on the phone was incomplete? I couldn’t wait to finish the session and leave the office.
As soon as the clients had left, I rushed out of the office without a word.
Outside, I called my sister. I must have looked like a mad man, yelling invectives in the middle of the street, my cigarette burning furiously. She helped me calm down, her gentle hormones from pregnancy traveled through the telephone line. I was glad I had spoken to her. I was glad that I let it all out. I was glad that it was over. So I thought... (to be continued)
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